How to plan a funeral in New Zealand
Understandably, many people can find the prospect of organising a funeral or tangi to be confronting. For most, it is not something they have had to navigate before, and knowing where to begin can be difficult. But once you get around the weirdness of planning your own send-off or the sadness of planning someone else’s, it’s really just a matter of preferences and logistics.
Here are the basics.
Understanding the basics of funeral planning
Funerals require a lot of planning, so it can help to run your eyes over everything that needs to get done so you can start working through the list.
Here are the basic things you’ll need to sort out when planning a funeral:
- Register the death
- Pick a venue for the ceremony and lock in a day
- Inform members of the family and close friends personally
- Decide on ceremony details (floral arrangements, music, speakers etc.)
- Arrange transportation of the body
- Determine and organise either a burial or cremation
- Decide if the ceremony will be followed by a reception and if so, organise this
- Settle the estate
- Pay for the funeral
In many cases, most people hire a funeral director to help make all of these arrangements. While this adds an extra cost to the events, it does remove a lot of the challenges of organising a funeral.
Step-by-step guide to planning a funeral
Organising a funeral is a big task, so taking it one step at a time is the easiest way to work through everything that needs to be done.
Here are the main steps you need to take to plan a funeral:
Start with the notifications
The first step is to let others know about the passing. A funeral notice or obituary to go in the newspaper can be a good way to do this. A funeral notice is simply a basic notice, while an obituary includes a short bio as well. You could also consider sharing the funeral notice on social media, to potentially reach more people in your network.
Choose a cemetery
Ideally, the person whose funeral you’re planning will have already picked a cemetery and left their wishes written in an easy to find location. If they haven’t, get together with close family and friends to choose a fitting location, such as their hometown, with family, or a place with a beautiful view.
Choose a coffin or casket
Coffins and caskets are surprisingly varied. There are different woods, different styles, and even environmentally friendly options. It might be painted, or polished to highlight the natural beauty of the wood. It might be smothered in bright flowers, or lush with a layer of green fern leaves. You can even get a flat pack coffin now if you want something more simple.
Organise the ceremony
You’ll need to pick out a funeral home and lock in a date so they can start making arrangements for the funeral. If you’re engaging a funeral director, you’ll also need to meet with them to discuss the ceremony and other plans.
The ceremony should be a celebration of someone’s life in a way that honours them, their personality, and their preferences.
You’ll need to make decisions about:
- The location
- The music
- The order of services
- The funeral program (the little pamphlet with photos, readings, and information)
- Who is invited or whether it’s an open invite
- Who will speak, and whether there will be readings
- Floral arrangements and other decorations
- Whether the service will be followed by snacks and beverages
- Who will be invited to the actual burial (if that’s the option selected)
A funeral director can help you through this process. You can also ask one or two of your loved one’s nearest and dearest to help with these tough decisions.
DIY funerals vs. traditional funerals – What’s the difference?
We’re certainly a country that loves DIY, whether it’s a new firepit or a kitchen remodel, Kiwis are known for doing it themselves. So of course there’s such a thing as a DIY funeral.
In this case, a DIY funeral is one that you do without the help of a funeral director (which is the traditional way of organising a funeral). It does mean that all of the decisions are up to you, as well as finding vendors for each aspect, from a casket to flowers, and even standing up and running the funeral ceremony yourself.
DIY funerals are possible and may even save you money, but be sure you know everything that’s required before trying to organise it all yourself.
Also keep in mind that you could DIY certain parts of a funeral, rather than the whole thing. You might be handy enough to build a casket, you might have someone in the family who has a large flower garden they can use for floral arrangements, and you might cater the event after the service in your own home. There are certainly plenty of ways to DIY a funeral to save cash, while still working with a director to help organise everything else.
Things to include in your own funeral
Planning a gathering you’ll only attend in spirit isn’t always easy, but you can help make it easier for your loved ones by leaving a few instructions.
Aim to include your preferences and wishes for:
- Burial or cremation
- Cemetery or plans for your ashes
- Funeral home
- Ceremony details (such as music, flowers, religious aspects, pall bearers, speeches)
- How to cover the costs
Make sure costs are covered
If there’s one thing that could make planning a funeral tougher, it’s the cost. Funerals can be expensive, and even the most basic plans can still cost thousands. The Citizens Advice Bureau suggests that it’s most likely to cost around $10,000 or more.
In some cases, payment will come from the deceased’s savings or other assets once sold. This can be a problem if you were planning for that money to go to your loved ones instead. Also, it’s good to know that there is financial support if you or your family needs it.
Alternatively, you can set up funeral insurance, so your loved ones will receive funds to go towards the funeral (or cover it entirely). Many insurance providers will generally pay out within one business day of receiving the required paperwork, so it’s a handy resource to cover the cost of a fitting send-off without worrying too much about the price tag.
2 Jun 2025